


New Soul

by leeleerose



Category: Twilight - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-08-23
Updated: 2010-08-23
Packaged: 2017-10-11 05:19:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/108840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leeleerose/pseuds/leeleerose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after Jake has been avoiding Bella in Chapter 11 of Twilight, Cult. What would have happened if Jake had visited Bella that night? What could have been revealed? Definitely one for Team Jacob : BxJ <br/>My take on what could have, and should have happened in the Twilight Saga :)<br/>This story was first posted on another site, therefore there are already many chapters. Please read and let me know what you think! :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Soul

Chapter 1: New Soul

The wind blew ferociously, swaying the trees dangerously. I stood in the cold, dark forest, watching, waiting for any sort of clue that would explain why I was there. Echoes of a familiar voice flowed on the wind, through the moving trees. A melodic voice whispered my name "Bella, Bella, Bella". My body shivered as the leaves rustled around me. The voice came again, closer now. I spun on the forest floor, trying to find the direction the mysterious voice was coming from. It was so familiar, yet I my mind couldn't quite link the name. Louder still the voice said "Bella".

The trees in front of me opened to the darkness. A stone white hand emerged, bright light in the shadow. It reached out, beckoning me towards it. My body wanted so much to move closer, but my mind screamed in protest. Instinctively, I tried to step back from the cold but an invisible force drew me towards it. I was frightened; my heart beat faster as adrenaline took over. I found that I was no longer in control of my body. A voice in my head screamed at me to run but as hard as I tried I could not find the will to do as it said. The voice's screams were agonizingly persistent as my body rejected its warnings.

I struggled as the stone hand became close enough to touch me. It gripped the front of my shirt. Ice cold fingers clamping shut, trapping me in its grasp. Suddenly the rest of the body emerged in one smooth movement. An angel stood before me. He was tall and lean, lithe muscle covering his arms and torso. His face was an image of perfection, symmetrical and beautiful. His bronze hair was slightly tousled from the still whistling wind. I felt a jerk in my chest and looking down I could see that his hand had sunk through my shirt and into my skin. Wrist deep it began swiveling back and forth, searching blindly. Suddenly it stopped and I looked up to see a glint of dark pleasure in the angel's eyes. The angel tugged sharply on whatever it had found inside me. I doubled over with excruciating pain. The pain was radiating throughout my whole body. I looked down in time to see that the angel's hand had managed to pull itself from my chest, no longer stone white but blood red. Strong fingers encased a small white box. Pocketing the object, the angel smiled darkly before walking back into the shadows, still in possession of my soul. I screamed. Stumbling forwards in blind pain I collapsed and fell to the forest floor. There I lay, until the warmth awoke me.

"Shhhhh, Bells. You'll wake Charlie." A warm and familiar voice pulled me back to the present. "It was just a bad dream. You're alright now, I'm here" My heart was thumping in my head, screaming in protest. My breath was coming quickly with panic. As my stuttering heart slowed I realised the unbearable pain was gone. I clutched at my chest and was surprised to find that there was no hole, no blood, no injuries to suggest that any of it had been real.

Fear was replaced by shock. The dark forest was replaced by my familiar room, and the looming angel had disappeared for good. Instead of cold stone I could feel warmth radiating from somewhere nearby. Slowly it dawned on me that someone else was in my room. They had spoken to me; their breathing was slow and even.

"Jake" I gasped his name, fighting back the tears that I knew were coming. I reached out, searching for him. "Jake" I pleaded, my voice wavering slightly. Finally I found him, my hands coming into contact with his smooth, warm chest. I wrapped my arms around his waist, rashly pulling him towards me. He responded by moving closer, and carefully circling his arms around me. I moved my hands to his shoulders so I could hold onto him more tightly. Then I blinked and allowed the tears to come.


	2. Lost Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by "Lost without you" by Delta Goodrem  
> Enjoy,  
> Love and best wishes, leeleerose xx

Chapter 2: LOST WITHOUT YOU

Jake held me for a long moment, rubbing small circles on my back and whispering reassuring words in my ear. It was embarrassing to think that this boy, who had told me only yesterday that he didn't want me around anymore, that he couldn't be friends with me, was, yet again, saving me from myself. He deserved better than this. No matter how much I needed him I had to let him go. When the tears had finally subsided I decided that it was time to face my savior, no matter what it would bring.

"I'm sorry Jake. You shouldn't have to see me like this. I'm falling apart, a broken glass that's seeping through the cracks." I couldn't stand to look into his eyes, so I bowed my head like the coward I was. Jake pulled me closer. I took the opportunity to bury my face into his chest, hiding my tears.

"No Bells, it's my fault. I promised you I would look after you, that I would never hurt you and I broke that promise. I'm so sorry, for everything."

Wait, he was blaming himself for my selfish actions!

No, he wasn't going to take the blame for this. I could not let him do that. This wasn't his fault. I should have never let him feel as though he had to take care of me. He had to understand that I wasn't his problem.

"No, Jake. I know how much I've hurt you. You wanted something that I couldn't give before. You have saved me from myself, Jacob, more times than you know. You wanted to know why I couldn't love you?"

I could feel Jake's head nod above mine.

"It was never you Jake. It was always me. My mind, it's a dangerous place for me to go. I try to forget, to let go, but it just won't let me. Each memory is painful, both physically and mentally. You've seen the way I crawl into myself? The way I hold myself when the memories come back?" I winced at the thought, but Jake just lifted my chin with his finger so that I could see his face. He nodded for me to proceed, his warm eyes calming me. "Well, that's what happens when the memories take over. They control me Jake. For a long time I thought that they had consumed me. I thought they had taken my soul. But then I found you. In the darkest hour, when all of the light had faded away, you were my sun, my tiny ray of hope. After all you've done I don't want you to think that I'm your responsibility. You deserve better Jake. You deserve someone whole who will treat you the way you should be treated. Someone who can look after you just as well as you can her." I gained enough courage to look directly into his dark eyes, glinting in the faint moonlight. It was then that I decided. He needed to know. "Jake, I want you to go and build a great life. Get married, have a family and forget about me. Please?" He was speechless. He did not move at all except to blink. I realised that all the time I had been talking he had stopped breathing.

"Breathe Jake" I reminded him, softly.

He let out a ragged breath then finally said "Bella, have a never made myself clear about how much you mean to me?" My heart caught in my chest. "Jake, I know how you feel, but I'm not good for you" He huffed a breath of amusement at the use of his own words. "But Bells, I'm willing to help you. I'm willing to fix you up. I WANT to help you. I want to be a part of your life, to be the one you depend on. I want to be there for you, always. That girl, the one who treats me right and looks after me just as much as I do her. That girl is you, Bella. You have made my life so much more worthwhile by just being around." His words overwhelmed me. Stupidly, I began to cry, the tears falling down my cheeks. "Bella? Honey, what's the matter?" I sniffed, holding back the rest if the tears. "It's just that today you told me to leave. You told me we couldn't be friends anymore. You hate me Jacob. And with good reason. Why love someone who, until today, didn't realise that they loved you too? I'm not your responsibility Jacob. You can leave me. You should leave me. I owe you that." It took all the self-control I had to push him away. Jake didn't move. He seemed frozen, his eyes staring into the space above my head. His arms slipped loose from their position on my waist. I rolled myself over so that I faced away from him.

There was a moment of silence before I felt him move carefully across the bed. He repositioned himself so that every part of his body was warming mine. He placed his chin on my exposed shoulder while his arms managed to circle once again around my waist, pulling me back against his hot chest. His warm breath trailed across my neck as he spoke. "You love me, Bella?"

I nodded slowly, allowing the idea to settle in. I loved Jacob Black. I could not live without him. Yet somehow I had to let him go, for his own good. Suddenly my train of thought was interrupted.

I had been turned over so that I was facing Jacob. His face was inches from mine, warm breath flowing across my lips. His body was still pressed against mine, his muscular arms trapping me where I lay. But I didn't mind, really. This might be the last time I would ever see him. He asked again "You love me? With all your heart?"

"Yes" I replied truthfully. The next thing I knew his mouth was on mine, and I was responding with all my heart.

Kissing Jacob was nothing like I had ever experienced before. His lips were soft and urgent against mine as they moved from my lips to my neck and back again, making a circuit I would never forget. Eventually we came to a point where I reflexively pulled back, as I would have done with Edward. However, Jacob was having none of that. He moved his hands to run through my hair, causing me to shiver with pleasure. I could feel a smile form on Jake's lips and he continued to kiss me lovingly. I copied him and moved my hands to his hair. I began playing with the soft stands while using this position to hold him closer to me. It was my turn to smile as I felt him react in much the same way that I had. My mouth moved against his as my hands memorised his face, his chest, his arms until we finally broke apart, both gasping for air. He smiled up at me. Somehow I had managed to position myself on top of him, although I didn't remember it. I was dazed and lost in my own bliss.

Jake broke the silence. "When I told you to leave today it wasn't because of you, it was because of me." I snorted with disgust at the lie. "Seriously Bella. You being no good for me? It's the other way around. I've put you in danger just by coming to see you tonight. The others warned me not to come but I had to see you. I was such a jerk today. Please forgive me?" I silenced him with another kiss and we ended the night that way as I became lost in my personal sun. Oh, how lost I would be without him.


	3. Begin Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one came about while listening to Colbie Caillat's "Begin Again"  
> I do not own anything. Jake and Bella belong to Stephanie Meyer. I'm only changing the story to suit my Jacob side. Also the names of each chapter are the names of songs I was listening to as I wrote each part of the story. Enjoy!  
> Until the next chapter,  
> leeleerose xx

Chapter 3: BEGIN AGAIN

I awoke to Jakes quiet snores, his breath washing softly across my face. Sunlight was seeping through the folds of my curtain, the tiny slit of bright white splayed across my bedspread, growing in size, until it finally reached my hand intertwined with Jakes on his bare chest.

Hang on a minute. Bare? Why was Jake not wearing a shirt? I looked down and let out a sigh of relief when I saw that I still had my tank-top on. It was boiling hot lying in Jakes arms. The tank top I was wearing could have been a fleece-lined jacket. However, as much I wanted to cool down, I knew that, for the time being, I did not want to go any further than we had last night. Just being with Jake and feeling whole again was enough for me. I wasn't sure if I could handle progressing any quicker in our relationship.

I carefully extracted myself from Jake's arms and the blankets. When I moved from his side, Jake rolled over slightly so that he lay in the spot I had been moments before. The hand that had held mine now lay open, invitingly. He was so beautiful. His russet coloured skin and black-short cropped-hair was perfect in every way.

It took some effort to finally look away from the sleeping Jacob. The case of Jake's missing shirt was still hot on my mind as I looked around, expecting to find it in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor. But there was no shirt to be seen. I made a mental note to ask him when he woke up. What could he have been thinking, to come into my house, with my father here, without a shirt on? Actually, come to think of it, how did he get in the house in the first place? Charlie would have heard him come through the front door. I looked around again. Wow, Jacob really was keeping me guessing. My eyes rested on the only other possibility. But no, surely not. How could he have gotten up through my open window? Curious.

I grabbed my jeans and a shirt before going to the bathroom to change. It was lucky that Charlie had gone fishing this morning. If he had walked in to find a shirtless Jacob, not only in his teenage daughter's room, but in her bed...well, let's just say the rifle would have been off the hanger in a second.

I took care not to make any noise as I went downstairs to make breakfast. Deciding that I felt like a cooked breakfast I began by taking out the eggs and bacon. I had no doubt that Jacob would be hungry, so I lay out double the amount that I would have if it was just Charlie and I.

The eggs and bacon were sizzling and crackling away in the saucepan when Jake entered the kitchen. I did not notice that he had come down the stairs at first. That was, until he yawned loudly, sounding somewhat like a puppy dog that had been woken from a good sleep.

"Morning sleepy" I greeted him with a smile. He blinked twice before looking at me with tired, yet happy eyes. "Good morning Bells" He grinned.

"Is something cooking? It smells good." He licked his lips hungrily. I laughed.

"Bacon and Eggs, you hungry?"

"Starving" he answered, still grinning. He was staring at me with a slightly confused look, as though he was thinking about something. "What?" I asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "Did I get egg on me or something?" I looked down, checking myself. I heard a low snigger before I felt Jakes arms wind comfortably around my waist. I leaned back and looked up into his big dark eyes. "What? What's the matter?" I asked again, feeling even more concerned this time. "Nothing's wrong Bella. Everything's fine."

"Oh..." I sighed in relief "Well that's good, I wasn't sure for a second there." I turned in Jake's embrace so that I could wrap my arms securely around his torso. I snuggled my face into his chest.

"Actually, no"

"What?" I asked, completely distracted at that moment in time.

"Everything is not fine"

I looked up, feeling worried, only to find Jake looking down at me, still grinning. Now I was thoroughly confused. "What is it Jake?" I asked, yet again.

"Everything is perfect" He emphasised the last word. I looked up at him, too surprised to speak. Jake quickly lent down and planted a small kiss on my forehead. I felt a smile grow on my face. That was when I remembered.

"BREAKFAST"


	4. Catch me when I fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one was inspired by a song my friend wrote, "Catch me when I fall"  
> Again I do not own the characters. They are Steph Meyer's creation. I only make up the story line   
> Happy Reading,  
> lee-leerose xx

We ate overly crispy bacon and hard yolked eggs for breakfast that morning. Jake didn't mind at all, although I suspected that he would have eaten even Charlie's cooking when he was hungry.

Halfway through our meal I decided to ask him about last night.

"Jake?"

"Yea?"

"Before I start, I just want you to know that I woke up this morning as the happiest girl alive..."

"As did I, but since you have already taken the role of the happiest girl, I will just have to settle for the happiest guy" Jake smiled sweetly. I smiled back before continuing.

"Well, I noticed a couple of things that I was extremely curious about, but I just couldn't figure them out"

"And these things concern me, right?" Jake's eyes locked with mine.

"Yes" I answered truthfully. There was an awkward pause. I wasn't sure how to proceed. Would he think it rude of me to ask these questions? After all, he had saved me last night, yet again. Maybe it didn't matter. But soon enough I found that Jake had solved this dilemma for me.

"Just ask me Bella. Whatever it is you want to know, I will answer as truthfully as I can."

Wow. How well this boy knew me.

"Okay..."

I looked down at the over-cooked egg still sitting on my plate, slightly embarrassed by what I was about to say.

"Well, the first was that you were not wearing a shirt"

"Okay"

"Huh?" I looked up. Surely that was not all he was going to say.

"Okay"

"Is that all your answer is? Okay?"

"Well, what do you want to know about me not wearing a shirt? I can make a mental note to bring one along if you wish. I mean, if it makes you feel uncomfortable..." He trailed off. My head snapped up.

"No, No." I was surprised at how quickly I replied to this offer. I could see the corners of Jake's mouth pull up in a small smile. "It's not that I feel uncomfortable or anything. It doesn't bother me, really. But I was just wondering why that was. You do realise that Charlie could have come in at any point during the night? And if he had found you, shirtless, in my bed...like we were..." I felt my cheeks flush red and dropped my head yet again. "It would not have gone down well at all" I mumbled quickly to finish.

I heard the gentle scraping of Jake's chair. A few moments later he knelt down next to me. His hand reached out and with one finger under my chin he gently raised my face so it was level with his.

His hand rested on the side of my face, his thumb drew idle lines across my cheekbone. After a few moments, he said quietly "My dear Bella, do you realise how much I've missed you? Your smile" He touched the corner of my mouth with his thumb "Your eyes" His gaze became fixed with mine. I could feel myself reddening again, yet I couldn't find the will to look away. "And your blush" He smiled as I turned even redder as he ran his thumb smoothly across my cheek. "You are so beautiful, Bella, so very beautiful. I love you. I have always loved you" My heart stuttered slightly. I was blown away by those few simple words. Jacob loved me. After confessing that I too loved him last night this was the only thing I wanted to hear. Slowly but surely my heart began to beat rhythmically again. Jacob continued "Your dad already knows how I feel about you"

"Really?" I asked, perplexed, my heart still floating like a feather "Charlie knows?"

"Yes, that's why I wasn't worried about him walking in to find me in bed with you, shirtless."

"So, you just weren't wearing one to begin with?"

"No, I wasn't. In case you haven't noticed I have a relatively high body temperature. Therefore I rarely need clothes for warmth"

"Yeah, I've noticed" I smiled slyly and placed my hand upon his chest, just above his heart. I could feel it beating evenly, slow and calming. "So is that how you got inside as well? Did Charlie let you in?"

Now it was Jakes turn to blush

"Actually, no"

I looked at him with curiosity. "But then, how...?"

"Now, Bella, don't be mad, but after our little...disagreement...the other day, I felt horrible. I had to come and see if you were okay. The others didn't want me to come. They said it was too dangerous"

My stomach dropped. Too dangerous. The words echoed in my head. But this means that they know about Laurent. But of course, if Sam's group really was a cult for vampire haters, and they had discovered the well-hidden secret of the Cull...the vampire family, then surely they would know about the presence of Laurent. And Victoria I reminded myself.

And of course they would think it dangerous, with two vampires lurking around Forks anywhere was dangerous. Especially anywhere near me I thought. I shivered inwardly. Luckily Jacob didn't seem to notice. He continued as if nothing had happened.

"But I needed to come and see you, so I ran away and snuck in through your window. When I saw you lying there, in so much pain, I knew I couldn't leave. They will have probably figured out where I am by now. I was supposed to have been home again before anyone could notice that I had left, but obviously things turned out differently than I had initially planned."

"I'm sorry if I got you into trouble. I didn't mean to" I whispered

Jacob smirked "Hey Bells, I'm not complaining. I'm glad we worked everything out last night."

"So am I. But about what you said before, Charlie knew that you loved me that whole time?"

"Yes Bella, he knew. He and everyone else knew for a long time. Everyone, except you."

"No, Jake. That's not quite true. I did know. Well, kind of."

I watched as Jake's brow furrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean Bella?"

"I knew. I knew since that day we walked along the beach at La Push. But Jake, you need to know that I couldn't face my feelings. Not then." Jake nodded silently, showing that he remembered. He sat quietly, waiting for more. I wouldn't be able to do it. I couldn't explain why, but I knew I had to try. Jacob was here, to catch me if I should fall. I took a deep breath before continuing.

"I knew how you felt, but I could never face the truth. I couldn't feel for you because I was blinded by emotions too strong to see past. For a long time I was absorbed in...him. He was everything Jake, you have to understand that. But when he left I was so empty. He left a hole. It hurt Jake, more than you know. And even now, talking about him pulls at the edges of the gap. When I push myself too far it reopens, and the pain takes over, just like last night." I saw Jake shudder as he remembered. "It's at times like these that I need you Jake. Right now I'm treading in dangerous waters. Will you catch me when I fall?"

"Of course Bells, I'd do anything for you. I just want you to be okay. But if you don't want to talk about it I can wait until you're ready" He was looking worried, scared for my sanity, no doubt. I shook my head slowly.

"I don't think I will ever be ready. I have to try to overcome my own pain Jake, but I can't do it alone" A tear escaped from the corner of my eye. Jake caught it and wiped it away with the hand that was still cupped around the side of my face. "Thank you" He nodded, his eyes filled with sadness.

"When I met you, you mended me Jake. You put me back together. You saved me enough for me to be able to feel for you as I do now. I love you Jake, and never again will I feel the pain that I received from Ed..." Suddenly the hole reopened. I felt the edges tear apart as I pushed myself too far. My stomach curled in upon itself. I fell forwards, my self-control lapsing. Warm arms broke my fall. I tried again."...Edwa..." The pain was spreading through my chest. I whimpered as it seared my heart. The warm arms wrapped tightly around me, keeping me sane. I had to try again, for Jacob. "...Edward..." I gasped. A cold hand penetrated my skin, plunging in and stealing my soul. A flash of a memory, a nightmare. Then everything went black.


	5. Somethin' Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, by Colbie Caillat :)  
> xx

Everything was cold. This place was familiar and dark. I had been here so many times before, yet somehow this time felt different. Instead of the usual feelings of dread and sorrow, I now felt light, almost free. That was when I knew that he was finally gone.

I couldn't see through the darkness that clouded my eyes. My mind wandered as it tried to find an exit, an escape back to reality, but instead it found a faint noise echoing through the still air. I strained to listen as the familiar voice, warm and urgent, became stronger. Finally I was able to hear my name being called. "Bella". I was surprised to find that it sounded nothing like the cold voice that normally called from the shadows. Instead this voice was filled with love and worry. I longed to see that childish grin and those deep, warm eyes. I wanted my Jake. I tried to awaken but couldn't, so I focused on regaining control over my senses.

I thought about the previous night and how it had felt to be held by Jake. His protective embrace that I would always need and would always want. Finally I could feel a pair of strong, warm arms folded securely around my back. Heat radiated from his chest as it pressed against mine. His mouth tickled slightly at my ear as he spoke my name. It was such a simple gesture, yet it meant so much. After being lost in the dark it was nice to know that I was still myself. I was still Bella Swan, and Jacob still loved me.

I was almost out. Life was coming fast.

Next I focused on how much I wanted to see him. His eyes, so deep and kind were the windows to his soul. They expressed so much and guarded so little. I could almost imagine the dark, puppy dog eyes staring into mine. Before long my eyes opened, and I awoke to my sun.

He stared down at me, his eyes exactly as I had imagined them to be. His arms were holding me tight against him. With my shoulders level with his my feet barely scraped the floor. They dangled weakly in mid-air as Jake lifted me, supporting all my weight. "Bella?" Jake's voice was rough and husky with emotion. In answer I leant my face into the crook of his neck, turning my head to press my lips against the soft skin there. "Thank you, Jake" A small moan escaped from Jake's lips. There was a hint of pain in his voice when he spoke next. His voice was barely a whisper as his lips moving against my ear "Bella, why did you do that? You didn't have to do that. You have nothing to prove to me"

"No, I know, not to you. But I have to prove to myself that I am strong enough to move on. Jake, I don't want to have him there when I'm with you. I want to be able to give myself to you completely, and now I can. I've let go. He's gone" I could feel the happy growl in Jake's throat. It reverberated through his chest, shaking me slightly. I giggled. His lips moved from my ear to my neck. They pressed softly at the base of my earlobe and moved down to my collarbone, placing soft kisses on my skin, before pausing. Jake stopped and looked up at me, still held securely in his arms. "Bells, I have a feeling we've missed a crucial step in our relationship"

What had we missed? I was sure that there was no rule book to these things. Unless if he meant...that. No, I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready to move on, not just yet. Surely he didn't want to go that fast. Jake seemed to notice my anxiousness because he released me from his bear like hug, allowing me to slide to the floor. Being my clumsy self however, my legs couldn't hold my own weight. They turned to jelly and I stumbled straight into Jake. He caught me, balancing me so I could stand by myself. "You alright Bells?" I nodded and looked up at him. Wow, he really had grown a lot in the last few months. "Bella," He said, bending down so that he was at my eye level "will you go out with me?" I could feel myself grinning from ear to ear. Jake grinned back. "Well?"

"Of course" I spoke in a rush of air before throwing myself into his arms and pressing my excited lips against his.


	6. Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time I was inspired by Kelly Clarkson. I love this song. You should give it a shot!  
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything, only the story line. The wonderful Jake and Bella are from the fascinating imagination of Steph Meyer. And again, the name of the chapter is inspired by one of my favourite songs on my iPod play list :) I wonder if anyone else out there recognises/likes the same songs as I do...
> 
> love and light,  
> lee-leerose xx

Chapter 6: READY

It was Saturday night at last. I had begun to think that it would never come. It's funny how slowly time passes when you can't wait for something. Yet those months after it happened had gone so slowly. Each day had blended into the next. So much so that I never realised how long I had been in my Zombie-like trance. That was until I found Jake. Hmmmm...maybe it's just waiting for Jake to come that makes time pass slowly, I thought and when I'm with him the world just revolves faster, making time pass quicker. What a good hypothesis :)

Tonight was my date with Jake. Even though we had seen each other every day after school this was going to be our first official date. I had to say that my truck had definitely been pushed to its limits in the past week. My poor truck could barely handle how fast I had wanted to get to La Push. By the time Friday came along Jake had had to drive his Rabbit down to my house because my truck just couldn't take the strain anymore. Jacob hadn't minded, but Charlie sure had given us some strange looks.

We had chosen not to tell Charlie about 'us' just yet. Jake was sure that he would be over the moon when he heard the news, but I wasn't so convinced. I didn't think that Charlie would be able to take it if mine and Jake's relationship didn't work out. Not so soon after him. I mean, it wasn't like I expected it to end badly or anything, but I knew how much Charlie had suffered when he left. I would never want to hurt Charlie like that, not again.

I stared into the bathroom mirror. It had taken me over two hours but I was finally ready. The girl staring back at me had wide, dark-brown eyes rimmed with thick eyelashes. The mascara had done its job (waterproof, of course, due to the high chances of rain in the town of Forks). Her eyes stood out from her pale face. Unfortunately no foundation could change this. As far as covering my skin tone went, bronzer made me look like an orang-utan and a darker foundation made me look like a bbq potato chip. Oh well, what's a Forks girl to do? It's not like there's ever enough sun to get a tan here. Even when I lived in Phoenix I was pale, so what chance did I have here?

Looking past the pasty complexion I focused on her hair. Gentle waves of dark brown framed her face. Tiny clips with precious dark blue stones held back a few strands, not too many but just enough to keep it from falling into her eyes. Now it wouldn't annoy me during the meal. The clips matched perfectly with the dark blue dress and shoes I had bought especially for the occasion. The dress was a halter neck and made with beautiful flowing material. It came in at the waist, showing off all my feminine curves thus far, before falling gently to just above the knees. I was surprised at myself that I had the nerve to wear heels. For the first time in my life I felt safe enough. I trusted Jake to take care of me, should I fall.

After completing the once over I returned to my room to retrieve my tiny silver bag. In it I put my purse, mobile, Camera and the pepper spray that Charlie had given me after I had used up my last bottle (on a vampire by the name of James, not that he knew that, of course) I smiled to myself. Charlie would be happy, as long as I took minor precautions. I grabbed my white cardigan before leaving and pulled the door shut behind me.

I could hear the television in the lounge room. Charlie would be in there watching the game. Although he knew I was going out tonight I don't think I had mentioned where to or with whom. He must have suspected that it was just one of the girls from school having a small get together. Hopefully he wouldn't ask too many questions. I took care walking down the stairs. I didn't want to fall and ruin the night, before it had even begun. It took me a long time, going down ever so slowly, step by step, but I eventually made it. By the time I reached the bottom the TV had turned to advertisements and Charlie had come into the kitchen to fix himself another drink. His eyes widened when he saw me "Bells?" He asked questioningly "What is it that you are going to tonight exactly?"

"Um..." c'mon Bella, think, think "...um..." My mind had gone completely blank. Charlie was still looking at me curiously when the doorbell rang Crap. It couldn't be that time already. Charlie motioned to get the door "No, dad" I stumbled, rushing to stop him. "It's for me"

"Really?" He smiled knowingly "And who would it be? Angela? Jessica? Mike, perhaps?"

I screwed my nose up at the last suggestion. As far off as Mike was from Jake, Charlie had picked the right gender.

Dammit I was going to have to tell him. Why had Jacob insisted on picking me up?

"Um, no. Actually, It's Jacob"

"Jacob?" Charlie questioned. He was stunned. I could almost here the click as his brain put one-and-one together

"Yes, um, Jacob Black"

"Yea, yea, I know who Jacob is silly. But what's he doin' takin' you out tonight?"

"Well...um..." The doorbell rang again "One minute" I said before skittering awkwardly to the door. I swung it open and sighed in relief.

He was here. Jake stood on the porch wearing a faded black suit. His hair was spiked, not naturally as it would normally have been, but with hair gel. In his hand he held a single red rose. He was so charmingly handsome that I felt immediately grateful that he had chosen me. He could have had any girl he wanted, but he had picked me. I sighed. He was so perfect. He had even worn a tie for the occasion. It was dark blue, the same shade as my dress. We matched perfectly. "Hey" I greeted him faintly

"Hey" he responded stepping closer and handing me the rose "This is for you. Although I would hate to be this rose at the moment. Your beauty outshines anything it ever had" I felt my cheeks grow hot and smiled. He beamed back before moving closer still, bending down. My mind clouded. The closeness of him made my heart beat faster "Uh, Jake" I whispered, knowing what we had to do (and what we couldn't do)

"Yea" he whispered in a husky voice. He was making it extraordinarily difficult for me to resist closing the distance between us.

"Charlie's listening. He knows you're taking me out. Should we tell him?"

Jake nodded and took in a deep breath before pulling away unwillingly. "Won't you come in?" I asked, raising my voice a little louder to ensure that Charlie heard me. Jake raised one eyebrow but walked in, through the door that I held open for him. "Wait" I whispered and entwined my fingers with his. "There, now I'm ready" We walked in the direction of the kitchen.

Charlie almost fell off his chair as we came around the corner. He had been caught trying to rock his chair far enough to the side to get a glimpse of us at the front door. I suppressed a giggle and stared at my father.

I felt self-conscious standing there in front of him as he surveyed us. His eyes moved from my eyes, thick with mascara, and my grinning mouth, glistening with lip-gloss, to mine and Jake's hands intertwined, hanging loosely between the two of us. Charlie's mouth hung open as he looked up at Jake, also grinning.

"Hi Charlie" Jake greeted him, happily.

"Hi...uh...Jake" Charlie was struggling.

I decided to intervene "Dad? Sorry, but we should probably get going"

Charlie shook his head to clear it before composing himself and putting on his official police voice "Alright then. Now Jake, I don't want any funny business. She's to be home by midnight and no later. You got that, son?"

"Got it chief" Jake answered seriously, standing up perfectly straight in a mock-impersonation of a soldier taking orders from his captain.

"Okay then, well, you kids enjoy yourselves"

"Thanks Charlie" Jake grinned and put out his hand to shake Charlie's. Charlie accepted, but about halfway though the shake he pulled his hand from where it had gotten lost in Jake's, a look of surprise on his face. "Boy, son, that's some grip you got there"

"Whoops, sorry Charlie. Don't know my own strength"

"Yea, right" said Charlie, a bit dazed "Well, see you later"

Jake and I turned for the door but before we could leave Charlie put a hand on my shoulder. I turned. "Bells, could I talk to you for a second?" I turned back to Jake. He shrugged his shoulders.

"It's alright with me. We still have 5 minutes before we have to leave. I'll wait in the car" I gave his hand a tight squeeze before letting go and watching him walk to the door. I turned back to Charlie. His expression was one of pure joy. Anyone would have thought he'd just one the 20 million dollar lotto draw. His voice was faster than usual. "Bells, Do you realise how happy I am for you and Jacob?" I shook my head, bewildered at my father's sudden need to reveal his feelings. Usually he just hid them away and never spoke about these sorts of things. I was much like him in these situations. It took me a long time to trust someone enough to tell them what I was thinking. Charlie continued "I'm glad you picked him. He's good for you, and you're good for him too." If it was at all possible for my smile to get any bigger, it would have. I opened my mouth to speak, but found that I couldn't. I was so happy that tears began to form in my eyes. "Bells? What's wrong?"

"N...Nothing" I stammered through my choked voice. I shook my head and threw my arms around his waist. "Thanks D...Dad. That m...means a...a lot" Charlie patted my head awkwardly. Obviously my show of emotion was just as bizarre to him as his was to me. Then I remembered that Jake was still waiting for me in the car. "Sorry Dad. I've got to go" I pulled back and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. "See you later"

"Bye Bells. Oh, and Bella?"

"Yea?" I already had one foot out the door.

"You look absolutely beautiful"

I smiled back at him, knowing how rare it was for him to speak his mind. "Thankyou Dad. I love you" I stepped through the doorway and half-jogged to the car, watching every step I took in my precarious heels.

Jake was waiting in the driver's seat, just as he had promised. When I reached the door he leant over from the opposite side of the car to open it for me. "Thanks" I said, quickly wiping at the happy tears that had collected at the corners of my eyes. Jake didn't miss anything. "Wasn't Charlie happy?"

"No, he was ecstatic actually. He's really happy for us" I smiled brightly, but Jake was still confused. His eyebrows were furrowed.

"But then why were you crying?"

I laughed quietly. "Because I'm so happy"

"okaaaay..." Jake was blatantly confused

"It's a girl thing"

"Ohhh..." Jake seemed to understand this at least. The corners of his mouth perked up slightly. His hand found mine and he intertwined our fingers yet again. With my other hand I flipped down the mirror above my seat. Nothing was smudged. Thank goodness for waterproof mascara I thought. We reversed from the driveway, ready for our first real date.


	7. Here in your arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This song is by Hellogoodbye. They are awesome! :D  
> Merci beaucoup pour tout mes amis! Je t'aime,  
> Until our next chapter together,  
> leeleerose xx

Chapter 7: HERE IN YOUR ARMS

"Please Jake?" I asked again putting on my most pleading voice. Jake sighed and rolled his eyes in my direction. We had just left my house for our first date, and were on our way to...well, that was just it. I didn't know where! I had never thought to ask. However, Jake had refused to tell me when I had, saying that it was a 'surprise'.

"But, Jake, I want to know" I batted my eyelashes hopefully. He just laughed again "No Bells, it'll be better as a surprise". I crossed my arms in a huff and slouched in my seat. I diverted my sight away from Jake's eyes, always flittering around him, but never actually meeting his gaze. I could hear him laugh quietly at my behaviour. I knew I was being childish but I really did want to know where it was he was taking me.

We had been driving for at least 20 minutes, which was a long time for the little town of Forks. We had started off in the direction of La Push, but after reaching the outskirts Jacob had taken a right turn onto a smaller road that lead into the forest. My mind was working overtime. Where would we be going in the forest? As far as I knew there was nowhere to eat out this way. Not to mention that the forest was a dangerous place these days. I knew that somewhere out there Laurent was waiting for me, and not far behind him would be Victoria.

I shivered violently. Jake noticed my sudden reaction and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to his warm chest. It was a nice feeling to be so close yet not feel any pressure to have to talk. I counted each of Jake's slow deep breaths. Suddenly I felt extremely sleepy. I lay my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. Maybe, when I woke up Laurent and Victoria would be gone, and I would be able to sleep without fear.

Before I knew it a warm whisper was waking me from my sleep. "We're almost there Bells" I sat up slowly, yawned silently and blinked a few times before I was able to comprehend what Jake had said. Finally it clicked and I felt wide awake. We were almost there. My heart began beating faster as nerves kicked in.

I knew it was stupid to be nervous. This wasn't like a normal first date. Jake and I had technically already gone out before. For some reason though I couldn't stop the pounding of my heart reaching my ears. It resounded so loudly that I was sure that Jake would hear it.

Jake got out of the car and walked swiftly around to my door. He opened it and offered me his hand, which I accepted gratefully. Although I couldn't see very far by the light emitted by the car's headlights I knew that we were in a small clearing, somewhere in the middle of the forest. This was not an area that I had ever been to before but I knew that just like the rest of the forest, the floor would be covered in sticks, leaves and stones. For anyone else this may have been completely fine. However, I had a tendency to get to know the ground a bit better than I would have liked, even when I was wearing hiking boots. I had a pretty good idea that heels were going to end in tragedy.

Jake helped me out of the car and taking my hand, began to walk me towards the edge of the clearing. At first I couldn't see a thing but gradually my eyes adjusted to the soft moonlight. The night's cool breeze was pleasant on my skin. I took each step with caution, making sure that Jake was always close in case an unexpected twig decided to attack. My heels sunk into the dirt a few centimeters causing me to grasp a hold of Jake's shoulder. We walked like that, my hand gripping his shoulder and his arm hovering around me, ready to steady me should I need help. It never actually touched my waist or back, but I could feel the heat radiating off him nonetheless.

We had walked about 20 meters when I saw a narrow path winding through the trees. My mind seized with fear and my legs stopped moving. I was frozen. Laurent and Victoria. I was putting Jake in danger by letting him continue down this path. They could be anywhere. I couldn't lose him.

Jake had kept tried to keep walking forwards, into danger. My hand was still gripping his shoulder, causing me to pivot slightly on my buried heel. I tugged gently on the hand that Jake had hovering near my waist.

"Jake..." My voice was filled with concern as it drew out his name in warning. "I don't think this is such a good idea"

"It's alright Bells. I've been here plenty of times. I know these woods well"

"But, Jake, there could be anything hiding in those trees"

Jake turned completely, retraced his steps and bent down slightly so that he face was mere inches from mine. His dark eyes sparkled in the soft moonlight. "Bells, I won't let anything hurt you. I could never let anything happen to you" The wind swept around us, making my hair dance across my face. Jake raised his hand to place a lost strand back into place. "Trust me Bells"

Those three simple words played on my emotions. I trusted Jacob with all my heart. I trusted him with my life. Surely Laurent and Victoria wouldn't be here tonight. I hadn't seen any signs that would suggest that they were. Anyway, Jake had said that he knew these woods well. It couldn't be that dangerous. Not just this once anyway. I nodded "I trust you, Jake". He grinned before letting out a quiet "Hmmm..." Jake's face was thoughtful. "You may have some difficulty getting through there in one piece" he said gesturing at the narrow path before glancing down at my choice of footwear. "Sorry" I said, "I shouldn't have chanced it. It was fruitless from the start" Jake smiled down at me. "I don't mind. This way I have an excuse to do this" With that Jake removed his hand from mine and scooped me up in his arms in one smooth movement. His arms curled under my legs and shoulders. I looked up at him with surprise. "This way we'll get there faster" I grinned. "Lead on, maestro" Jake raised an eyebrow at me

"Maestro?..."

"What?" I said defensively, "It sounded right in my head" Jacob chuckled, his chest vibrating. Jake started along the narrow path.

We were definitely moving at a much faster pace with me in Jake's arms. I hadn't realised how slowly I must have been moving in the clearing. Not only was it faster, but it was also preferable lying in Jake's warm arms. The wind had picked up a notch. My thin cardigan and knee length dress didn't offer much in the way of warmth. Instinctively, I recoiled from the cold, turning my body so that it was protected. I buried my face in Jake's chest, reveling in the comforting feeling it brought with it. I closed my eyes drifting into a day-dream state.

At one point I was sure that Jake had leant his face close to mine and kissed my hair lightly, but I was too lost in his heat to know for shore.

Before long I felt Jake begin to slow down. I opened my eyes to find that I could see Jake's face perfectly. His features were lit so that his long lashes made shadows on his cheeks, his lips contoured so that a small shadow formed on his chin. Jake glanced down to see me staring up at him. His eyes bore into mine as he spoke "We're here, Bella" I turned in Jake's arms.

"Where?" I asked, not able to see a thing. Jake nodded in the direction of a less dense patch of trees. My eyes opened in amazement as I realised what I saw. It was the most beautiful little cottage I had ever seen.

It was made of stone. The large slates seemed to be connected only by green moss. The cottage was so like nature it seemed that it had grown here with the trees. It belonged. Sky-high trees surrounded it on every side, hiding it from harms way. If I hadn't been expecting it I would have never seen it, mistaking it for a part of the natural surroundings.

Jake placed me down gently. My heels sunk into the moist earth. Taking my hand he began to lead me towards the half-hidden cottage.

I gasped when Jake swung open the tiny cottage door. If I had thought the outside had looked beautiful it was nothing compared to the interior. The cottage consisted of just one main room, such as a hotel would have, with two doors on the opposite side of the thresh hold, which were presumably the bathroom and kitchen. There was a small round table made of a dark wood positioned in the centre of the room. A chair sat at either end. The table settings were simple yet elegant. A glass vase holding a single red rose inhabited the centre of the table. It stood tall and proud. There were two lit candles placed symmetrically to the rose. The candles flickered slightly as a gush of wind came through the door. I stepped inside quickly. Jake followed, pulling the tiny door closed behind him.

From my position inside I saw a tiny fireplace in the corner that spread its warmth to every corner of the room. Jake looked huge in this tiny 'dwarf' house. His head almost brushed the ceiling. I stared up at him in amazement. He was looking intently back at me with kind, loving eyes. "Wow Jake. This is beautiful" I reached out to take his hands, one in each of mine. Facing him I swung our hands side to side between us. "Thank you" I said standing on my tiptoes to kiss him on the corner of the mouth. I felt his lips pull up into a small smile under mine. I looked up from his lips. His eyes were closed, his lips now slightly parted in response to my touch. "My pleasure" He breathed in answer.

"No one has ever done anything like this for me before" I spoke quietly, not wanting to disturb him when he looked so peaceful, not to mention how tempting he was. "Well, we're in the same boat for that one. I've never done anything like this for anyone before. This is all new to me"

"It's perfect Jake. There's nothing I would change, especially not this" I whispered, leaning in to his ear.

"Mmmm..." Jake agreed almost silently, taking his hands from mine to grab a hold of my waist, pulling me closer.

We stood like that for some time. Being with Jake made me feel so lighthearted that it made me want to sing. I was so engrossed in him that I barely heard the alarm coming from the kitchen. Jake sighed and pulled away slowly. I attempted to pull him back to me, knowing that it was futile. He chuckled lowly. "I only wish I could leave dinner a longer, but I doubt that you want to eat charcoaled chicken for dinner"

"You cooked dinner?" I asked in awe. Jake nodded. I had always been the one to do the cooking. With my mum and dad's skills it was easy to see why, but I never knew that Jake could cook. "Then let's go save this chicken before it burns" I said and began walking towards the kitchen. Jake slipped his finger into the back of my halter dress. I gasped with surprise as he pulled me back gently. "No Bella. You sit down. I'm doing everything tonight. You just relax" I pouted but was secretly grinning inside. He was such a gentleman. I hadn't completely relaxed since that day.

Jake placed his hands on my shoulders and steered me to one of the wooden chairs next to the little round table. He pulled it out and gestured for me to sit down. "Merci monsieur" I said. My French accent was horrible but I stood tall, curtsied and took my seat. Jake couldn't suppress the laugh he was holding back. He walked quickly towards the kitchen but hadn't quite made it to the door when it slipped.

"I heard that" I warned him. This only made him laugh more. He bent over double, completely amused at my strangeness. His laugh was contagious. Before long I was laughing at myself. "Jake, the chicken" I reminded him through breaths of laughter. "Oh, yea" He said, wiping tears from his eyes. He straightened himself before disappearing into the kitchen.

I waited patiently for Jake. It had been only 5 minutes when he re-emerged, a glorious smell wafting after him. He came to the table and placed a white porcelain plate in front of me. He lifted the cover, revealing a piece of delicious roast chicken surrounded by vegetables. It smelt absolutely divine. "Wow" I exclaimed "This looks fabulous Jake. I don't know if I'll ever cook again knowing that this is what you can do" Jake grinned, placing his own plate down before seating himself across from me. "You'd better taste it before you gloat for it" He said, nodding towards the succulent chicken breast.

I cut a small portion and chewed slowly, making sure that it lasted as long as possible. "So...?" Jake said uncertainly.

"I shook my head, no way am I ever cooking again. From now on you're making the meals" Jake smiled broadly and tucked into his own.

The chicken was just the first example of Jake's secret culinary talent. After we had eaten every morsel on the plate he whisked the empty plates away and returned with two large bowls filled with homemade custard. Again it was absolutely delicious. As we ate we talked. It wasn't just idle chit-chat, but questions about one another. I found out so much about him like how his father was the leader of sorts of the Quillette tribe and how he had missed me when I left to live with my Mum (haha, can you tell I'm an Aussi from my spelling? :D) in Phoenix. I also revealed a lot about myself to Jake like how I had never really liked Phil, but as long as my mum was happy I didn't mind who she was with.

Jake and I spoke for a long time after dinner, talking about everything from sports, to school. Even past pets made its way in there somehow. All in all it was only when I glanced at my watch and saw that it was already 11:15pm that I felt that we should probably get going. "I don't want Charlie to regret letting me go out tonight" I said as I stood. Jake came around to my side of the table. He pushed my chair in for me, took my hand and blew out the candles before leaving.

Just as he had before Jake lifted me bridle style and carried me back to the clearing. As we reached the end of the dense forest trees Jake placed me on the ground, keeping his hands on my waist. "Bella, before we go I want to thank you" His voice was low and soft, his face an inch from mine. "What for Jake? You did everything tonight, remember?"

His eyes looked into mine. All of his focus was on me. Little me. He could see me, and not just my physical appearance, but straight through me and into my heart and soul. Only Jake could do that. Jake shook his head slightly, still keeping his eyes locked with mine. "No" he said slowly "You made all this possible Bella. This night was perfect because you were here." He leant closer and pressed his forehead to mine. I sighed, breathing in his scent. "I disagree" I spoke carefully, attempting to sound coherent even though I was lost in his presence. "It was you" I leaned closer still. our breath mingled in the small space between us, creating a new stronger scent. It was sweet and woody. A combination I had never really thought of before. It made me think of cinnamon and butterscotch, or a forest after the rain. "You are extremely stubborn" Jake breathed. I smiled against his lips "I'm never give in" Jake's hands suddenly gripped my waist tighter, pulling me against him. My mouth found his. The kiss felt urgent and full of passion. My hands moved up his chest before snaking their way around his neck. I pressed myself closer, asking for more but Jake broke away.

"Bells, I don't think it's a wise idea to continue with this" His breath washed over my face.

"Why not?" I asked, trying to pull myself up to kiss his soft lips. Jake pushed me away gently.

"You're father may not agree with you being back late and being a floor rug was not on my list of things to do before I die" I sighed but accepted the truth. Jake bent down to kiss me firmly on the cheek before taking my hand and leading me to the car.


	8. Total Eclipse of the Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An oldie, but a goodie :)  
> xx

TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART  
I woke up on that bright Sunday morning to the sound of Sara Bareilles' Love Song. My mind was still fuzzy as I reflexively reached out for my mobile, searching the top of my bedside table blindly. Finally I found the smooth, cold object and managed to hold it in my still weak grip. It seemed that my muscles didn't want to work properly, not to mention that my mind was still half asleep. The bright glare of the illuminated screen made me wince and squint my eyes. Braving a closer look I read that it was Jake. I pressed the green button and held the phone up to my ear.

"Hello" I greeted him, trying to sound happy and alert but failing dismally. Instead my voice came out croaky and expressionless, still groggy with sleep.

"Hey"

I heard his deep voice answer from the other end of the line.

"Sorry, I hope I didn't wake you but I couldn't wait any longer"

I could hear the guilt in his voice. Glancing over at the radio clock I realized that it was already 11:17am. Wow, no wonder he had thought that I would be awake by now.

"No, it's alright. I'm glad you stopped me from wasting any more of my day. How are you?"

"Great" He replied, "How are you?"

"A bit tired, but otherwise much the same" I paused, wondering how to continue. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Oh, nothing in particular. I just wanted to hear your voice again. After last night I just can't get you off my mind."

I smiled "You're still on mine too Jake" I answered. Then I had a crazy idea. "Hey, would you like to come over for lunch today? Charlie's gone fishing for the day. I was about to make lunch but since you have been keeping your culinary talents a secret from me I thought that in return you would be able to teach me something"

"Sure" Jake said quickly "I'll be there in ten" I laughed at his eagerness

"Kay, see you soon"

"Bye Bells. Love you"

"I love you too Jake. Bye" I pressed the end call button feeling high-spirited.

By the time that Jake arrived I had taken the quickest shower ever and gotten dressed in record time. I wore dark blue denim jeans with my favourite cream coloured top. As soon as the doorbell rang I bounded down the stairs, two at a time, and flung the door open. Once my brain processed his dark-brown windswept hair and his tan skin it took my body no more than a second to respond. I threw myself at him and flung my arms around his neck, pulling myself closer to his beautiful face. I could hear Jake let out a breath of air as I caught him off guard, but as I hugged him tighter his brain seemed to catch up.

"Good afternoon Bella" He said.

I widened my eyes innocently. "But it's only 11:30"

Jake looked down at me, smirking at my reaction "So it is" He answered in a breath before planting a short but sweet kiss on my waiting lips. I sighed when he pulled away. "Would you like to come in?" I asked, releasing him slightly to gesture to the front door. "Well, we probably should move this indoors, but we wouldn't want the neighbours to talk." He said suggestively, a glint in his eye.

"Of course they won't talk. They probably won't even notice that you're here" I teased. Jake scoffed "Why not?" he asked "Wouldn't they worry about some tall, handsome man stealing a young girls virtue?" I blushed but decided to explain. "Well, since my 'breakdown' the neighbours have ignored almost everything that happens at our house. I suspect that it became boring for them, always watching me doing the same thing day-in and day-out. My zombie-like self was certainly a party pooper." I looked down at his feet. Even when I had managed to slip on a pair of thongs as I hurried out of my room this boy's feet were bare. Did he never wear shoes?

Jake bent down slightly to whisper in my ear. "Well then, if the neighbours aren't going to notice, what are we still doing standing outside?" I giggled and looked up at him. Grasping his hand firmly I lead him into the house.

Once inside I pulled Jake into the kitchen.

"So, Chef" I said, a slight upbeat evident in my voice "What are we going to make for lunch?"

Jake pressed his lips together thoughtfully, wriggling his nose ever so slightly. "What about something simple to start with? We can start at the beginning"

"Okay" I agreed, getting excited "What about you teach me how to make the perfect toasted sandwich?"

Jake grinned "Deal"

I was in such a good mood with Jake here that I almost danced around the kitchen. I hummed Whistle while you work as I gathered the items that we would need to make lunch. It was great to finally feel free again. This sensation was almost alien to me now. It felt so strange to not need to hold myself in when I was with Jake. He kept me sane. It felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

Jake laughed as I skipped from the fridge to the pantry and back to him, making a circuit around the kitchen. Eventually I had all the things I thought we might need to make the world's nest toasted sandwich. Jake stared at me with wide eyes.

"Bella, I don't think we're going to need all this," He said in an amused voice. I shrugged my shoulders and looked admirably at my pile of food. I had collected almost every vegetable the fridge stocked, several varieties of meat left over from previous meals and all the different kinds of sauces imaginable. I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of what sorts of combinations were possible.

Brocolli, mustard and pork…..urgh, that would definitely be disgusting.

After sifting through the foods that we were definitely not using Jake and I were left with a few possibilities. I wanted to try a mix of ham, cheese and onion but Jake managed to convince me otherwise. Eventually we decided on chicken, cheese, wholegrain mustard and avocado. This was going to be delicious.

Jake cut up slices of cheese, leftover roast chicken and avocado while I flitted around the kitchen putting back all the other items. By the time that I had finished Jake was just sprinkling grated tasty cheese over the top of the sandwiches. He topped all three (two for him and one for me) with another slice of bread before putting them in the sandwich press. I sighed. It seemed so easy for him. There was no doubt about it, he was definitely a natural cook.

Jake turned from the sandwich press, dusting his hands of breadcrumbs with a slight clapping motion. "So, they'll take about 10 minutes to cook. What do you propose we do in the meanwhile?" I smiled mischievously. "Well you see, I went on this date the other night with this 'kind of' beautiful guy…"

I could feel my cheeks going red. "Oh, is that right?" said Jake, playing along. "And so, what happened? Does this guy deserve a beating?"

"No, no. He was the perfect gentleman"

"Is that right?" I nodded

"We kissed," I said quietly, my nerves twisting in my stomach "we kissed and it was the most beautiful thing. I haven't really thought about anything else since then. Now I'm craving more…"

"Then let's treat that craving" He said as he reached out to take my hands, pulling me until I collided lightly with his chest. It was as though he could read my mind. Warmth radiated through me as he moved one hand to my waist while his other pressed against the small of my back, pulling me flush against him. I sighed, pressing myself to him. My arms reached up to circle around his neck. Jake bent down and placed his lips against mine.

I was lost in the magic of it all. My mind was a haze of warmth. It was perfect. Jake was careful at first. His mouth moved sweetly against mine. Our movements were perfectly synchronised. Slowly the kiss grew. It was no longer sweet and innocent, but filled with passion and love. I couldn't help myself from exploring his body. My hands seemed to move of their own accord as they ran down his biceps, his muscles tight as he held me to him. My hands wandered back up to his neck, playing with the soft hair there. I ran my fingers through the strands, gently untangling the few that had managed to intertwine. But then something happened. A feeling of electricity ran through us. It caused me to shiver. I knew that Jake had felt it too, How could he not? My mind and body suddenly craved him. All of him. A voice in my head urged me on. Jake loved me. How bad would it be for us to go a bit further than I had planned? Our kisses became more enthusiastic. My hands grabbed fistfuls of his short-cropped hair, pulling my body even closer to his. Jake's arms acted like a vice, holding me tightly against him. His hold was so unyielding that any breath that I managed to snatch between the onslaught of his kisses was short lived. His hands were pressing tightly to the small amount of skin exposed at the waist of my jeans. I wouldn't be surprised if it would bruise. I didn't mind though. His body was so irresistible. Every muscle was defined. I could feel his hard stomach; every plane was smooth and chiselled. However, it was also very warm. So warm that I had begun to swelter. There was no air, only Jake. All too soon my body was screaming in protest. I needed to get out. I broke away, gasping for air. Jake looked at me, bewilderment etched on his face. Realisation dawned in his eyes as he saw how red my heated skin was. He let go immediately. My skin welcomed the cool kitchen air, I filled my lungs, breathing deeper now that my heart was beginning to slow.

"Sorry" Jake said, his eyes closed, breathing uneven. After a few moments his breathing returned to normal again. He opened his eyes. The dark brown met min. "Did I hurt you?" He asked concernedly.

"No" I shook my head slightly "Quite the opposite actually"

There was a short pause in which he and I swapped smiles. "What was that?" I asked carefully/"I'm not exactly sure" said Jake in a soft voice. His eyes penetrated into my soul, searching, for something. They widened slightly as though he had found something there.

"What?" I asked, more curious than ever

Jake shook his head as though to clear it "Nothing"

My mind was reeling. What was that? What did Jake know that he wasn't telling me? My thoughts were interrupted by a loud growling sound that emulated from my stomach. Jake laughed. "Lunchtime" He chimed, and went over to serve up the best toasted sandwiches ever.


	9. Innocent Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another one by miss Delta Goodrem  
> xx

The past week had been extremely strange. After what Jake and I had experienced last Sunday I wasn't sure what to expect. Sure, I had been busy with school and Billy had needed Jake to help out with a lot at home, but I hadn't seen him once. We had spoken on the phone, but it just wasn't the same as him being there.

My mind was still wondering what had happened during our kiss. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. Even now, having not seen Jake for a whole week my body and mind were craving him more than ever. He was my life. Even my classes at school reminded me of him.

In Biology we had been studying the process of photosynthesis. Of course one of the key reagents needed for this process was the sun...my own personal sun. See what I mean? English hadn't been much better. The protagonist of the film we were studying had short dark hair, which only meant that I always wanted to run my hands through it.

Our phone calls had been short. A quick "Hello, How are you?" and that was it. I hadn't had the nerve to talk about what had happened between us. Jake was acting as though nothing was wrong, but there was something inside of me that told me not everything was right.

To start off with Jake had sounded happier than ever. He seemed as over the moon as I was. For a while there I thought that he felt the same way as I did, excited and completely in love. However, as the week had progressed Jake's mood seemed to worsen. The spark and joy in his voice that I had associated with feeling safe had disappeared to leave behind something lifeless and hollow.

Still, he played on my mind like a bow on a string. I had a never-ending buzz. This surely not a healthy habit to be getting myself into, thinking about my boyfriend 24-7, but I couldn't help it. Maybe if I saw Jake again the need would go away and I would be able to concentrate on my studies. Then again, what if that only made it worse? What if I was never going to be able to get him off my mind? I wasn't complaining, he was a wonderful person to think about, but I had never felt anything like this before. Even when I had been with him he had never consumed my mind so completely.

I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I hadn't noticed the phone ring. It wasn't until Charlie came in from the lounge room, obviously flustered to have gotten up at such a crucial part of the game.

"Hey Bells, could you get that for me?" Normally Charlie would have been out fishing but today's weather was forecast to rain, so he had stayed home to watch the game on TV.

"Sure" I mumbled my mind still on Jake. With that Charlie was gone.

As I reached out to pick up the phone the ringing clicked over to our message bank and Charlie's voice echoed slightly in the kitchen "Hey, This is the Swan residence. Please leave a message" *beep*

"Hi, um, I was just calling to speak to Bella" A new voice now filled my ears. Jake cleared his throat. His voice was slightly husky, even over the phone "So, yea. Give me a call ba..."

"Jake" I gasped, grabbing the phone from the receiver.

"Bells" Jake sounded more than relieved. "How are you?" he asked.

"Great now that I can finally talk to you again" I breathed. I wished now, more than ever, that he was here with me in my kitchen, and that we could continue where we'd left off last week...

"Hey, Jake?"

"Yeah"

"Do you want to come around to my place today?"

"Arrrrrgh..." Jake sounded disappointed. "I would love to Bells" he hesitated for just a split second "but my Dad really needs me at home today."

"Oh, okay" I said, unable to hide my own discontent.

"But there's no reason why you can't come down to La Push" He said. His voice seemed to gain confidence as he said this. My heart soared. "Sure. When should I come down?"

"Now" Jake answered, barely missing a beat. "Meet me on the beach"

"Okay, see you soon"

"Bye Bells, I love you"

"As I love you Jake"

I hung up the phone and sprinted up the stairs to my room. I grabbed my mobile and jacket then pretty much leaped down the stairs and rushed to the door. Maybe everything's okay after all.

"Bye Dad" I called, already on the front steps

"Where's the fire?" Charlie asked amusedly

"I'm gonna go see Jake' I yelled over my shoulder as I jumped into the drivers seat of the truck. I chucked my jacket and phone onto the passenger's side before throwing it into gear. My truck groaned in protest as I pulled sharply out of the driveway and onto the street, pushing its' precious speed limit.

I reached Jake's house just as it began to drizzle rain. Quickly I grabbed my jacket and jumped out of the car before sprinting in the direction of the beach. By the time I reached the shore the wind had begun to pick up. I put my jacket on and pulled the hood up to shield my face. It was difficult to run on the sand, so instead I walked as fast as I could.

I knew where I was going. Something told me that Jake would be waiting just up past the next bend. It was as though there was an invisible string connecting us both. There was an indiscernible bond between us pulling me in his direction. I quickened my pace.

When I finally got to our spot I was comforted to see that he was already there. The corners of his mouth pulled into a tight, relieved smile as I rounded the corner.

"Bella"

"Hey"

I just stood there. He looked so tired. There were dark circles around his eyes. The normally neat hair was rather scruffy. Tangled strands blew across his face and around his head like a halo. Even in this cold wind, he sat on an old driftwood log wearing nothing but denim shorts that cut off at the knee. His chest was bare, yet he was not shivering. I walked towards him, pulling my jacket tight around me. "How have you been?" I had to work hard to keep my voice steady. What could have happened to make him like this?

"Okay" He said, his voice rough, eyes glinting with sadness. Tears began to form in my eyes.

I looked at the ground

"C'mere" Jake said, holding his arms out, waiting.

I walked forwards, straight into his arms, which then curled around me, protecting my body from the wind. His arms, just as warm as I remembered, gently guided me down to sit next to him on the log.

It felt safe to be held by Jake. It was like neither of us could be hurt if we were together. Maybe that was why Jake was sad. I wasn't there for him when he really needed it. I had been a horrible girlfriend. Even as a friend I hadn't been the best. I should have put everything else aside and visited, no matter what he said. I could have stopped him from feeling so sad. This was entirely my fault.

I could feel the tears well up inside of me and begin to cascade down my cheeks. Jake's hold on me became stronger. I rested my chin on his broad shoulder and pressed my face into his neck.

"Please talk to me" I whispered through the sobs

"About what?" He answered softly

"Tell me what's wrong. What happened this week? What happened to you, to us?" Jake took a shaky breath. I could feel it reverberating through his chest.

"I needed to see you"

"But, every time I was free you were busy. It's not your fault that you needed to help Billy out around the house" I said, defending both of us for our actions. But Jake stopped me from going any further "It isn't Billy. It's Sam"

"Oh" I said quietly. My tears turned to those of anger.

The last time Jake and I had talked about Sam had been that day when I had gone to his house for answers. That was the day we argued. It was all because of Sam. My muscles tensed, holding Jake tighter. Jake seemed to notice the change in my mood.

"Bella, please don't. You wanted to know. Now just listen. Please"

His voice was almost pleading. He was dead serious about this. I nodded, bumping my chin a little on his shoulder.

"Sam is good Bella. He's been helping me."

"With what?"

Jake hesitated "There's been some...things...things that I wanted to tell you about. But...I couldn't, and I still can't. I've tried so many times to bring myself to do it, but I just can't" Jakes voice was weak. It wavered in the wind. If we hadn't been so close I don't think I could have heard it at all.

"Usually I agree with Sam, but not this time. Not now"

"What don't you agree on Jake?"

"I want to tell you..." He whispered, his voice breaking with emotion

"I know. You can, I'll listen"

I could feel Jake tense, his strong arms constricting my movement.

"I know you'll listen, but I don't know if I want you to"

"What do you mean?"

"Once I let you in, Bells, there is no way out. Trust me; if I could leave all this behind, I would. You would be safe. I would be able to stay with you without you being in constant danger"

"I'm not in danger from anything Jake," I said, knowing that this was a downright lie. I was in danger. There was the continuous threat of Victoria and Laurent to worry about. But Jake couldn't be talking about that. He didn't even know that vampires existed, let alone that there were two out there right now trying to avenge James.

"No Bella, you are. The guys, they've been telling me not to see you. They're mad at me for not following his instructions"

"These guys, they include Embry don't they? And the one giving the instructions is Sam?"

"Yes" I could feel the muscles in my face pull tight into a grimace.

"He has no say in what you do Jake. Your life is none of his business, and as far as I'm concerned he has no say in what my boyfriend does or does not do"

Jake's eyes seemed to lighten. My heart fluttered at the word 'boyfriend'. The happiness was short lived however, as his face quickly became solemn once more. He seemed to be getting frustrated.

"It's not like that Bella. I've told you. I have no choice but to listen to Sam. Even if I deny his wishes and hate what he tells me I can't disobey a direct order. But I can't stay away from you either. Even if his orders are for your own safely, I am so selfish that I want to defy it. I know what I felt last week and I know that what we have is real."

I turned my head to press my lips to his neck "I know that too Jake. I felt it"

"I don't care what he says. You are a part of me now"

I smiled, my lips still resting against his neck. "I'm never leaving Jake" I promised.

Jake and I held each other for a few moments. It took me a while to realise that there were cold tears running down my face and neck. But I hadn't shed any of them.

I lifted my head to see Jake, crying. He was completely unguarded. It was at this moment that I could finally see past Sam's mask. There was so much weight on his shoulders. So many burdens he had to bear. Underneath it all though I knew that he was still my Jacob. He was still the Jacob I had known before this whole Sam thing, before that night at the cinema, even before I had met him. This was the Jacob I remembered from all those years ago.

Jake's breaths became sharp, a small whimper escaping with each gulp of air. His chest shook against mine, his arms gripped around me stronger than ever. I realised that he needed me just as much as I needed him, and this time I wasn't going to let him down.

I reached up and took Jake's face in my hands, wiping the moisture away with my thumbs and tracing idle shapes on his cheeks and jaw. Jake seemed to calm a little at my touch so I continued. I moved my fingers up to his eyes. They fluttered shut as I caressed them. Jake's long eyelashes were wet with tears. I drew lines across his cheekbones, down his jaw line, moving up his rigid chin until I reached his mouth, tracing the outline of his lips and the tiny spots where his skin dipped in above the perfect peaks. Jake sighed. I noticed that his arms had relaxed from their constraining hold around me. His lips opened invitingly.

"Bella" they whispered. There was a ghost of sadness behind the way he said my name. However, as soon as it left the little space between us it was lost to the wind.

"Shhhhh..." I cooed, kissing them lightly. "It's alright" I pressed my forehead to his and closed my eyes, focussing on the way his breathing matched mine.

Jake shuddered slightly and tugged at my waist to bring me closer. I moved from where I was seated on the driftwood log to his lap. Instinctively I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist filling any space there had been between us. I could feel his breathing slow, the stuttering quiet. .

Jake and I sat like that for a long time, living off each other's presence. Each breath was synchronised, in perfect harmony. The wind continued to assault us from all angles and the drizzling rain dampened our clothes, but I didn't care. Jake needed me here and we were going to get through this together.

It seemed that I had zoned out because after a while I could hear Jake murmuring something. I strained my ears to listen.

"Bella?"

"Mmmhmmm" I answered

"Do you remember when you were seven?"

I giggled at the memory of a tiny Bella and Jacob "Of course"

Jake must have been feeling a lot better. His voice was stronger, happier than before.

"And do you remember what we used to love to do when it rained?" He asked

This time I was puzzled "No, I don't. What was it?"

Jake paused

"Make mud pies" He said and I felt his hand move to my face and smear something wet over my cheek.

"Blurgh!" I exclaimed, pulling away from his touch, my eyes opening wide. "Jake that's gross" I whined in a voice that sounded oddly like a younger Bella. I ran my hand over my cheek, cleaning off the worst of the wet dirt.

"Anyway" I continued, reaching my hand behind my back, "This is how you do it". With that I smeared my hand in the mud and wiped it across Jake's chest.

The look on his face was priceless. I began to laugh loudly which only made him more interested in the game.

"That's it" Jake said, scooping up a handful of muddy sand and forming it into a ball.

I scuffled away, out of his reach. He stood up and followed, pulling back his arm and closing one eye to aim. Thinking fast I ducked behind a rock just in time to hear the loud splattering behind me. I reached down and scooped up some more ammo and spun around the corner to fire. My aim was true. It hit Jake square in the chest, covering him in the gunk. I ran back behind the rock to 'reload'. Thinking I would get the better of Jake I scooped up an even larger ball and readied myself. I dipped around the side of the rock to shoot but to my surprise I came face to face with Jake. I hadn't expected him to be standing so close. I screamed as he flung his arms around me. The mud that I had thrown at his chest only moments before was transferred to my clothes as he pulled me to him. I struggled in his arms, only causing more of the dirt to be smudged into me. We were both laughing hysterically. I turned in his arms wanting to see his glorious smile. I giggled at what I saw. Jake's face was covered in muddy sand. Streaks of it ran across his cheeks where he had wiped his flyaway hair from his face.

"Jake" I gasped through my spurts of laughter "I remember why we used to do this now. Ten years may have passed but this will always be fun"

His grin was contagious. My cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much, but I just couldn't stop. There was a crash of thunder as the drizzling turned into heavier rains. The mud washed off Jake's face, sliding down his neck and chest. My clothes were soaked through, dirty and cold. Jake looked up at the dark, cloudy sky then back down at me. "Let's get you back to my place" He said, his voice warm even in the cold air.

Jake and I made it back to the house in record time. He kept me close the whole way, warming me and protecting me from the cold rain. My jacket was wet through, and completely useless. When we walked through the door the heat of the house hit me instantly. The delicious smells coming from the kitchen made it evident that Billy already had dinner on the stove.

"Jake? Is that you?" Billy's memorable voice boomed from the kitchen.

"Yea, Dad. Look who turned up"

Billy's head poked out from behind the kitchen door "Oh, good evening Bella"

"Hey Billy. That smells great"

Billy smiled at us "Family recipe. You look frozen to the core Bella. Jake, take her to get some warm clothes on, would you?" Jake nodded

"C'mon" he said, smiling affectionately. He took my hand and led me down the hall to his room.

I hadn't been in Jake's room for many years now. It was very much the same as what it used to be. The bed was in the same spot as it had always been; across from the window so that Jake could watch the trees sway in the wind. The closet stood open, clothes strewn across the floor. The racing car bedspread had been swapped for a more neutral navy blue one. A desk had been added in the corner and was adorned with papers. There were pictures and notes scattered across every inch of the dark wood. Next to the bed was a huge bookshelf filled to bursting point with books of all kinds. There were many old novels mixed in with newer ones, comic books and encyclopaedias. I noticed that my mouth was gaping open and snapped it shut. Suddenly I felt self-conscious being in his room. Even with these changes his room felt so familiar, yet so much had changed between us since the last time I had entered it all those years ago.

I could see a little boy with his wooden truck, rolling it to and fro across the bedroom floor. A tiny girl, her hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, her fringe just covering the top of her eyes sat nearby, watching wishfully. She pulled at stray strands of the carpet beneath her. She gazed around the room, taking it all in. Her eyes began to water. The boy looked up, his baby face smiling.

"Do you want a go?" He asked sweetly, offering the pale white girl the truck. She shook her head. "What's the matter?" The boy asked his brow furrowing. The brown haired girl shook her head and covered her eyes with her hands. The boy put the truck down and moved over to where she sat. He attempted to pull her hands away from her face, but she wasn't giving in. The stubborn girl held her ground, keeping her telltale eyes covered. The boy seemed to be getting anxious. "Bella?" his voice was filled with worry "Bella?" He repeated, more urgenlyt. The little girl gave in, pulling her tiny hands away to reveal her brown eyes. Her cheeks were wet with tears. They glistened in the afternoon sunlight that streamed through the open window.. The boy sat on his knees, while the girl pulled hers up to her chest and hugged them tight.

"What's the matter?" The little boy asked again, looking into her sad eyes.

The tiny girl sniffed and spoke to her knees "Mummy and Daddy are splitting up". A single tear ran down her face. The boy reached out and wiped it away. He sat, listening contentedly. "Mummy doesn't love Daddy anymore, so she's leaving"

"It's okay" the boy said reassuringly "When you get lonely you can come for sleepovers, and we can play in the woods and play with the cars" The little girl started to sob. "What is it? Don't you want to play cars?" He said quickly "We could play dollies too; I mean it doesn't always have to be cars" The little girl shook her head

"I'm going too" she said, in barely a whisper. The little boy fell silent. His eyes filled with pain.

"No" He said stubbornly "You can't go. Who would make mud pies with me?"

The girl's lower lip trembled. She was shaking. "Mummy says I have to go with her. We're going to live in Arizona."

The boy seemed confused. "Why?"

"Mummy says it's warmer there. There's lots of sun. There are lots of nice people for me to meet and I can go to school"

The boy moved to sit next to the girl. He wrapped his tiny arms around her shoulders. Even at this young age the difference between their skin colours was amazing. His was a tanned, rustic brown, while hers was silvery white. They sat like that, crying together.

"Bella?" The boy said

"Yea?" She looked into his dark brown eyes

"You will always be my very best friend. You know that right?"

The girl nodded "And you will always be my very best friend, Jacob. I love you" she threw her arms around the boy who was barely bigger than her "I love you too" he said and hugged her firmly to him, never wanting to let go.

I came back to the present with a jolt. Jake was looking at me, his eyes filled with understanding. My vision was slightly foggy. I quickly wiped away the dampness in my eyes with the palm of my hand. Jake gave the hand he was still holding a quick squeeze and let go, walking over to the closet. He opened a few draws and rummaged through them before pulling out a set of clothing. "Here" he said, handing them to me. "These will be huge on you, but they're the best I've got"

"Thank you" I smiled, taking the clothing from him.

"Do you remember where the bathroom is?"

"Yea" I said, mentally walking there.

"I'll let you clean up first. There's soap and towels under the sink"

"Okay, thanks" he leant down and pressed his lips to mine for a brief moment before whispering, "You will always be my very best friend. You know that right?"

I smiled and answered as though from a dream.

"And you will always be my very best friend, Jacob. I love you"

"I love you too," He said. I smiled and kissed him, never wanting to let go.

It took me a while to get all the mud and sand out of my hair but I managed it. After turning off the water I got out of the shower and found a purple towel under the sink. I dried myself off and dressed in the clothes that Jake had leant me. After rubbing the fog from the mirror I couldn't help but smile at what I saw. I was dressed in a pair of Jake's old tracksuit pants. The warm wool was soft on my skin. The fabric gathered at my ankles where it was way too long. I had pulled the strings on the waist as tight as they would go so that they wouldn't slip off my hips. Jake had also given me one of his long sleeved grey cotton shirts. I had needed to roll the sleeves up a few times so that I could make use of my hands, but other than that it was just right. These weren't much different to the sweats I normally wore to bed, but needless to say that it felt great to be wearing Jake's clothes. They even smelled like him. His woodsy aroma would no doubt make sleeping easier. They were extremely comfortable and warm, especially when compared to my now soaked jeans, shirt and jacket that I had been wearing previously. I found a plastic bag in the cleaning cupboard and stuffed them inside. As much as they would smell when I finally washed them I didn't want Billy's house dirtied by my grubby clothes.

When I exited the bathroom I made my way back to Jake's room. The door was closed so I knocked.

"Come in" Jake's voice was muffled behind the wood. I opened the door slightly and stuck my head in. The room was clean. The clothes that had covered the floor were gone and the closet was closed. The papers that had been strewn across Jake's desk were stacked in neat piles. "Just letting you know that the bathroom's free" I said. Jake turned from where he was standing near the bookshelf. He had an old novel in hand and had been looking for a place where it would fit on the overflowing shelves. "Thanks" he said. "I'll be out in a minute. Why don't you make yourself at home in the lounge room?"

"Okay" I said, "see you soon" I closed the door silently and made my way back down the hall and into the lounge room. I seated myself on the two-seat couch and looked around at the tiny room. In the corner there was a tiny television with an aerial much larger than that of the screen. The wood fire was directly across from where I sat. Even though it was unlit it gave the room a homely feeling. I sat there for a few moments, reminiscing all the good times Jake and I had had together, before I had moved away with my mother. Even when we were little we had loved each other. I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of someone clearing their throat. It was Billy. "I bet you're feeling better now you're in some warm clothes"

"Sure am, thanks Billy"

"No problem Bella. Listen, I just called Charlie and he said he doesn't want you to drive home in this rain. Something about that truck not being able to take it. I disagreed, that truck's been through more than just a little rain, but nonetheless your father doesn't think it safe. So, he wanted to know if you could stay the night."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to impose" I said

"No, it's fine with me. You can keep Jacob out of my hair for a while. I haven't had time to organize his birthday yet and this seems like the perfect opportunity."

"Oh, okay. Well, thank you Billy. I really appreciate it"

He smiled "No problems honey. You two are good for each other" Billy left, rolling out of the room in his wheelchair. Billy had left me with something else to think about. Jacob's birthday. What on earth was I going to get him?

I only had a moment to ponder this however, as Jacob entered only a few seconds later. His hair was wet from the shower. He wore black tracksuit pants, not dissimilar to the ones he had leant me, and a dark blue cotton long-sleeved shirt. Again, it was almost identical to the one I wore. I giggled. "What?" he asked, coming over to join me on the couch. "We're twins" I said. Jake looked down at his pyjamas, then back to me and chuckled "I guess we are" he said. His eyes moved from my face down my torso, legs and then finally met my eyes again.

"Are you finished checking out the inventory?" I asked

"Well, no actually. I don't think I could ever stop checking out this inventory"

I blushed. Jake raised his hand to stroke my cheek. "You have no idea what it feels like to see you wearing my clothes" I could feel my red cheeks turn hotter under his touch.

"Well, they definitely are preferable. Maybe I'll just have to wear them more often"

"I would like that" Jake whispered. He moved his hands to my waist and moved me so that I lay down. He then lay down next to me. It was a tight fit, the two of us on that tiny couch, but it worked. Jake ran his hands through my hair, still damp and tangled from my shower. Since I had no brush here it was going to be in a hell of a mess when it dried. It was comforting to have him so close. After a week without him it wouldn't have been enough to simply see him. I had to be this close, to make sure that he was real.

"Billy said you're staying the night" Jake said quietly, pulling another knot from my troublesome hair. "Yea, Charlie didn't want me driving home in the rain" There was a moment's silence before Jake said, "So, where do you want to sleep?"

My heart stopped. My brain went into overload. Sleep? That small word could mean so much. What exactly was Jake asking? "Umm…." I said, putting off my answer.

Jake clarified "I mean would you like to sleep on the spare mattress in my room, or on the sofa." I let out the breath of air I had been holding with relief

"Your room, please. I would prefer to have you near me rather than not" Jake smiled.

"Yes, it is better. I don't know if I could last having you out here. I would probably have pulled the spare mattress out to be able to sleep near you anyway" I ducked my head. Jake kissed my forehead. "It's alright Bells. I don't want to do anything you don't want to do"

"Thank you"

Just then Billy entered the room. "Alright you two, off the couch. Dinner's ready"

"But Dad, couldn't we eat a little later?" Jake whined

"Now boy, I agreed to let Bella stay the night. As far as Charlie is concerned she's sleeping on the couch. If he were to find out anything else from me you would be in deep trouble. Don't push your luck"

I giggled "Maybe we should get up" I whispered, "I don't want to be locked in my room for the next month. I don't know how I'd live without you for that long" Jake played along, shivering at the idea

"Alright Dad, you got me"

"That's what I thought." Billy said, and rolled out of the room.

Jake groaned and stood up, holding out his hand to pull me up after him.

After dinner (which was absolutely fantastic) Billy went to his room, leaving Jake and I to wash up. We finished quickly and returned to Jake's room. Jake pulled out the spare mattress from under his bed and made it with clean linen from the hallway cupboard. After we were all set up I found myself sitting on the spare bed, Jake on his. We had lapsed into silence, neither really sure how to proceed. I decided to start the conversation.

"Jake, I never realised you liked to read" I glanced at the bookshelf next to his bed, overflowing with books.

"Well, it takes my mind off things. You can learn so much from books too. They're a valuable learning tool," I laughed, standing up to walk to the bookshelf.

"You sound like my mum"

"Well it's true" he said, smiling. "I wouldn't know half the things I do now if it weren't for those books" He pointed at the bookcase. I skimmed my finger along the bindings, reading the titles. There were a few I knew from my childhood like Alice in Wonderland and Snugglepot and Cuddlepie. There were also some of my favourite classics like Black Beauty, and even my favourite Shakespearean play Romeo and Juliet. Some I didn't recognize. Titles such as Choices and Soul Crossed were new to me. I did notice, however, that there were a lot of books written specifically on wolves. Wolves: Behaviour, ecology and conservation, Wolves: Life in the Pack and Of Wolves and Men were just a few of the numerous headings.

"So, you're interested in wolves?" It was only an innocent question, but Jake's eyes turned cautious.

"Yea" he said "a bit"

His answer was so blunt that I didn't press any further, but instead walked back over to my bed. I was about to crawl under the sheets when Jake said my name. "Bella". He patted the space next to him.

I paused, not quite sure if I was ready for this. But then I remembered what Jake had said before "I don't want to do anything you don't want to do"

I got up and crawled across his blanket to the space beside him. "Only to sleep" I clarified.

"Yes, only to sleep" He pulled aside the sheets and I slid in, cuddling up to his chest.

"Night Bells" he said, reaching over my head to turn off the lamp

"Night Jake. I love you"

"I love you too". I felt his warm lips press into my hair briefly before I drifted off into a blissful sleep.


	10. Beautiful Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another inspired by Delta Goodrem   
> xx

Chapter 10. Beautiful Madness

JPOV

Sometimes being what I was turned out to be great, but at other times it just sucked. This morning was one of the latter.

I really wasn't ready to wake up from such a good dream, even if it was too good to be true. I didn't want to face reality just yet. Although, come to think of it, with Bella in my arms every thought was like a vision from heaven. Everything I used to dream of was now a part of my life. She had given me her love, her soul and most importantly, her precious heart.

However, it was inevitable that every morning without fail one little noise, amplified by my newly acquired sense of hearing would awaken me to the new day. The tiny chirping bird would welcome every sunrise and there was nothing different about this particular morning.

I groaned quietly wanting nothing more than to be able to go back to sleep and hold onto this moment for as long as possible. Bella stirred slightly in my arms at the noise. Her body was pressed lightly to mine. One of her hands lay palm down on my chest while the other rested next to her head, which was pillowed on my shoulder. My arm had a loose hold around her shoulders, preventing her from rolling away in her sleep. I sighed. There was no way that this moment could get any better. But then again, I had been wrong before.

I didn't have to wait long until Bella mumbled something under her breath. Thinking that she was awake I asked "What was that honey?" She only mumbled again. How was it that I could hear a twittering bird from over a kilometre away but I couldn't understand what this adorable girl was saying as she lay asleep in my arms?

I ducked my head down closer to her and listened carefully. Low and behold she mumbled again, but this time I heard her properly. If my heart could have imploded with the amount of love I was feeling at that moment, I'm sure it would have. Bella, my sleeping angel, was saying my name. She mumbled it softly, over and over, more distinct with each calling. "Jacob, my Jacob". I smiled and planted a small kiss on her head.

Yes, I knew better than anyone else that I belonged to Bella. My heart belonged to her and her alone. I knew that what we had was so much more than just a teenage crush. Every inch of me yearned for her, wanting to devote myself to her. This past week had been painful for us both. Sam hadn't believed me when I'd told him what had happened at Bella's last weekend. Apparently it's rare to have what we do, but I know that it's real. After what we'd experienced how would it not be? All the storied had turned out to be true so far, why not the ones about love as well?

It was a relief to have Bella here. Sam didn't realise that there was a way around his "don't go and see her: rule. She had come to see me. I knew that Sam would be disappointed. After all, he was only doing this for Bella's safety and I was so selfish that I denied him. I needed Bella here. It was as though we were connected. Something pulled us irresistibly closer ever moment of our lives. Once she left my arms and body only craved to hold her again. Not seeing her for a week had been torture, and I knew from the way that she held me that she felt the same way. There was a need, close to obsession in each of our gazes. Loving as always, but without each other we were lost. A half of a whole. My father had seen this and he believed me. He wanted us to be together so that we would be happy.

But then there was that one thing keeping us apart. I couldn't tell her. It was impossible. What would she think? Would she want to love a…a monster? Furthermore, would she still have the choice to pick someone else once I told her the stories? Would she be able to choose to love me, or would she feel compelled to do so, as though it was scripture? It was all too hard. At the present time my want and need for her simply outweighed any of these problems. There would be a time when I would tell her, but not now. For now I would let her sleep.

I closed my eyes and let the numbness wash over me once more as I dwelled in my own happiness.

BPOV

I awoke the next morning to the quiet snores of Jacob. His body moved slightly with each breath. My hand rested on his warm chest while my head lay on his shoulder. I watched the room rise and fall slowly as I moved with his breathing. I focussed on my own breathing, matching it to Jacob's.

He certainly made a great pillow. Although he wasn't soft it was favourable, especially on such a cold morning. I turned slightly, slipping my arms around his torso to pull myself closer. I pressed my freezing toes to the exposed skin near his ankles. Jake shivered slightly in his sleep and rolled over towards me. His upper arm came to rest on my hip. I looked up at his face, memorising his features. He was so peaceful, so different to how he had been only yesterday. What had yesterday meant? He had said that he wanted to tell me something, but couldn't because of Sam. I was worried for him. What was Sam keeping him bound with? Why was it impossible for Jake to tell me?

I reached up, ghosting the shape of his lips, nose and eyes with my finger. I didn't dare to awaken the sleeping Jacob but my hand, hovering over his unguarded face wanted so much to press to his skin. I could feel the heat radiating off him even these few centimetres away. Jacob hadn't always been this warm. Sure, he had always been able to bring the light back into my life, but in the literal sense it hadn't been until quite recently. Actually, come to think of it, that hadn't happened until a few weeks ago, when Jake and I had argued in the forest. Up until that point Jake had been a different.

I thought about this for a while, moving my hand so that I could trace Jake's jaw line, never quite touching his skin, wondering what the connection could possibly mean. All of a sudden there was a jolt. It was as though electricity had run from Jake's skin to mine. Or maybe it was the other way around, I couldn't be sure. There was a sure-fire feeling in me. I needed him. My heart and mind urged me closer. I moved my face up to his, pressing my toes into his legs to gain more leverage. My lips pressed eagerly to Jake's just as his eyes flew open. This caused another jolt, but this time to my heart. I pulled back quickly, surprised by what I had just done.

"Sorry if I woke you" I whispered.

Jake, whose arms were already resting either side of my waist, pulled my cold body closer to his. "That's alright" He whispered back "Recently my life has been better than my dreams anyway".

I smiled. "Is that so? Why would that be I wonder?"

Jake pulled me up so that his lips grazed my ear as he spoke "Guess" He said, as quiet as ever. I shivered involuntarily. Jake chuckled and pressed his warm lips to mine once more.

###

"If I didn't know better Jacob Black, I'd say that you were trying to keep me prisoner here forever."

Jake poked his head out from behind the raised bonnet of his car. It was only this morning that he had asked for my help with fixing the motor of his Rabbit, however, once we had entered the shed he had lifted me bridal style and against all protests had placed me in the front seat of his car. I watched as he fiddled with different parts, some shinier than others. He would pull one out, examine and clean it thoroughly, then refit it before taking out another piece and starting the process again.

"What makes you think that?" Jake asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, you know" I said, shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly "I was never really good at fixing things, especially not cars." I patted the dashboard awkwardly and continued "And I'm not quite sure how I'm helping by sitting in the front seat of the car watching my boyfriend pull apart the engine and put it back together again." Jake put his hand on the edge of the hood and pulled it down with a snap.

"Is that so?" He asked as he wiped his hands clean with a rag.

"Yep" I crossed my arms defiantly.

Jake made his way around the front of the car to where I was seated. He leant on the doorframe with one arm on either side so that I had no escape. "Well, for your information, you're here so that I don't go insane. Every time I let you out of my sight my mind goes crazy. As for your theory about me keeping you locked up here forever, how do you know that's not my plan?"

"You're not that kind of guy," I said innocently

"What if I was that kind of guy? The type who would draw you in with their irresistible charms and good looks before using you for their own satisfaction" I grinned sheepishly and rolled my eyes at his blatant overconfidence.

"Charlie" I said simply.

Jake looked bemused. "Your father is going to stop me? He trusts me too much. I'm like a son to him. Give me three reasons why I wouldn't be able to keep you here with me."

"One" I said, waving a finger in front of his face "Charlie's the head of police. If I told him I didn't want to stay he'd arrest you for holing someone against their will" Jake's head bobbed side to side in thought. His teeth tugged on his bottom lip until he spoke "Okay, fair enough. What else?" I raised a second finger and waved them both in the air.

"Charlie's my father, and as much as he would prefer to stay out of my love life I have a feeling his fatherly instincts would take over if he thought you were mistreating me. He'd come right over here and force you to give me up." Jake laughed lowly

"Well, I think I have to agree with you on that one. As much as I would argue to keep you here I'm not sure I could stand up against the love a father has for his daughter. That, and I don't particularly fancy being turned into a floor rug any time soon." He let his head drop and shook it in defeat "and thirdly?"

I thought hard. There was nothing else that concerned Charlie and his armed forces, but there was something far more important that I hadn't mentioned. I took Jake's face in my hands and lifted it until he met my eyes. "You love me," I said. His eyes glistened slightly at the words.

"Yes, I do. But isn't that a reason for me to keep you with me forever?" Jacob tilted his head so that it was angled to the side slightly, as a puppy might question its owner.

"Somehow I don't think so," I said. Jake only angled his head to the other side and raised an eyebrow, once again in question.

"Do explain"

"I think that if I really wanted to leave, you'd let me. You couldn't hold me here, not because of anything to do with Charlie, but because you love me. I think you'd let me go if you knew it was best for me." Jake sighed in defeat.

"Alright hun, you win. You're free to go." He pushed himself off the car slightly, leaving the doorway free for me.

"But what if I don't want to go?" I whined, reaching out with one hand to grab the front of his shirt and pull him back to the car. "What if I want to stay here forever?" Jake smiled "I thought we were discussing your freedom"

"Yes, but it was all hypothetical and based on the idea that I wanted to leave. However, that's not the case at all" I was definitely not ready to leave. My Jacobless week had been nothing but torture. All I wanted now was to spend these last few moments with Jake before my father really did come and drag me off.

I batted my eyelashes a few times, hoping it would work to my advantage. "Can't I stay?" Jake's lips turned up slightly at my question.

"Of course"

"Forever?"

"As long as you want" He leant in, hanging slightly from the doorframe. My right hand was still clasped to his shirt, pulling on the fabric. Jake moved so slowly. In those few moments when out breath mingled between us it seemed as though time itself had halted. The whole world was waiting, just for us. Our scents mixed in the warm air. Woodsy and floral aromas flowed around us. Every moment felt like forever. He gradually came closer, filling my vision until there was nothing but him. Finally his lips met mine and there was that familiar spark that set us on fire. However, sooner than I would have preferred we were interrupted by a loud Bang.

Bewildered, I jerked back and spun around to face the direction the noise had come from. The shed door was swung wide open allowing the mid-day light to flood the small shed. The sound of tin on tin had definitely been enough to give my heart a stir, so much so that I glared pointedly at the two figures that now stood in the doorway. Both were tall and dark skinned with short cropped black hair. If I didn't know any better I would have said that they were brothers. I turned back to Jake. He seemed annoyed at our interruption. His arms tensed slightly as he pushed angrily off the doorframe and walked around the car to face the two boys. "What are you two doing here?" he asked, his voice low. "You knew I was busy today"

The boys only stood there, gaping. They were both staring at me with their mouths and eyes wide. There was a silence in which both boys turned to look at one another. Their faces were that of awe and surprise. That was until the smaller of the two, Quil, burst into laughter. Soon enough the other boy, Embry followed and they were both half bent, holding their stomachs from the pain caused by their fits of laughter. Jake's fists only tightened in response. Quil looked up to see the potential threat and quickly explained.

"When you said you were busy today we thought you meant with the usual mechanics. We were gonna come and give you a hand. We didn't realise that you were actually busy" The two boys broke down again, unable to control themselves.

"Ha Ha" Jake said sarcastically.

I giggled. Jake turned back to me, his face taught as he tried to stop from retaliating. "Bella, you remember Quil and Embry?"

"Of course I do" I said "Hey guys" I jumped out of the Rabbit and walked around to where Jake stood. He was shaking slightly, every muscle tensed. His shoulders were hunched and he stared at the ground with wide eyes.

"Jake" I soothed. He didn't seem to notice me as I took his hand in mine and smoothed it out. There were red marks from where his short nails had cut into the palm of his hand. "Jake" I said again. This time he looked up. The anger disappeared and was immediately replaced by some mix of emotions that I couldn't name. Was it sadness or fear? Relief or worry? Whatever it was, it was gone in an instant.

"Sorry Bells. I guess I was hoping to have you all to myself today, without any interruptions" he threw a dirty look at Quil and Embry who were now glancing around the shed, their eyes fixing on anything but Jake and I.

I smiled. "It's alright, we've got plenty of time" Jake squeezed my hand lightly.

"Sorry guys" He said to Quil and Embry who chanced a look at us once more.

"S'alright" said Quil

"Yea, we know what it's like" Embry backed up.

"So, what have you guys been up to?" I asked, keeping Jake's hand firmly entwined with mine, just in case. Quil shrugged.

"Nothin' really. Just hangin' out around La Push, ya know. It's been pretty dull these last couple of weeks though. Nothing new." Quil's eyes waved to Jake for a moment before he looked back at me.

"What about you?"

"Same old, same old"

It was easy to talk to Quil and Embry. They were as much a part of the Black family as I was. Soon enough Jake decided to bring out some warm sodas from his stash in the shed and we were all sitting there, Jake on a spare car tyre at my feet, me in the front seat of the Rabbit, Quil and Embry on old milk crates directly across from us.

Once Jake got over his annoyance at being interrupted he began to act in his normal manner. The way that he acted around Quil and Embry was similar to how it was when we hung out. He was childish and fun, always joking around. They all got along like peas in a pod, always smiling and taking the mickey out of each other.

I was glad that Jake had chosen to sit where he was. Even though Quil and Embry were old friends that didn't change the fact that the last time I had seen them they had been backing up Sam. As much as I wanted to believe that Sam's little cult was good it was difficult to just throw all that away. Jake's positioning also meant that I needn't feel pressured to speak when awkward silences came about.

Quil and Embry asked a couple of questions about the seriousness of our relationship, but Jake merely said that it was our business and to keep their noses out of it if they wanted to keep them straight. Eventually the topic turned to cars. Jake explained what the problem was with the Rabbit and what he had done to try to fix it so far while Quil and Embry fired suggestions at him for what he could try.

As was inevitable I didn't understand a word of the foreign language. My mind wandered off. Every now and again Jake would bring me back from my deviating thoughts by turning around to smile at me. I would smile back before the boys pulled him back into their conversation.

It was past mid-day by the time they left. Embry waved cheerfully at me as he walked out the door while Quil took it upon himself to give me a bear hug. This only earnt him a slap over the head from Jacob, as he shut the door on the two. Jake waited a few moments, listening with his ear pressed against the tin to make sure that they had left. He walked back to the Rabbit and took a seat in the drivers spot. I stayed where I was, standing in the middle of the shed floor. I watched as he sat with his hands in his lap, his head bowed forwards so that his forehead rested on the smooth steering wheel. "As much as I like Quil and Embry they really can interrupt at the worst of times" I walked over to the car and climbed in so that I was perched on the small section of seat left next to Jacob. I reached out and put my hand on his broad shoulder. He raised his head to look at me.

"It's alright. I don't mind. As I said, we have plenty of time" Jake smiled, taking my hand off his shoulder to hold it in his. He placed it palm up, stroking my hand slowly.

"True" he traced the lines that ran across the centre of my palm. First my life line, then my wealth line, then lastly my love line. My palm tingled at each touch. His fingers moved to the pattern of blue veins that decorated my wrist. They were clearly visible through my pale white skin. He ran his fingers slowly towards my elbow, pausing slightly at the barely discernable pale arcs that stretched across the back of my forearm. The skin here was a degree or two colder than the rest. Even though no ordinary human would have noticed it, I knew that Jake did. He was different, more observant.

My biceps relaxed as he continued and ran a warm thumb over the surface of my arm, up to my shoulder. His fingers danced across my collarbone before his palm came to rest on the curve of my neck. My heart beat so loudly I was sure that Jake could hear it, if not he would have definitely felt my jagged pulse under his palm. I closed my eyes and leant in. "Never again" Jake whispered so quietly that I couldn't be sure that was what he said. For a moment, a split moment I wondered what he was talking about, the unplanned interruption from Quil and Embry, his strange reaction to our visitors, or the small scar on my wrist that served as a daily reminder of what I had been through and what I still had to face. This moment was over in a flash however as Jake reached around me to tug on a lever on the side of the seat. The chair flattened out, throwing us down so that we lay horizontally in Jake's car. I laughed at the turning feeling this had caused my tummy to have. Jake's hand directed my lips to his, and we were back where we had been before, enjoying our own little piece of beautiful madness.


End file.
